I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
They have beer where we have blood.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
