Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
