Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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