i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
