What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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