I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
