she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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