Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
