im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
