Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
