Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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