i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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