I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
