I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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