What a fucking waste of an outfit
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
