is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
