if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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