Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
