She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
so explain again why im purple
no
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
