your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
