ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
