People in love make me want to vomit
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
