Who did Billy Mays play for?
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
