I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
