Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
