He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
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