is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
