fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
