HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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