she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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