Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Randomize
