so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
