I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
