I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
