just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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