No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
