i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I think I am morally bankrupt
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
