At least make sure they are 18
Why
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
