I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
