Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
