WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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