youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize