member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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