i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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