hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
