is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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