Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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