I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize