yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
