Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
