Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
