I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
just tell him i said nine months
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
