Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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