I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Farmville is her only friend.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
