Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Randomize
