your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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