I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
These tits shall not be calmed
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
