Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
