Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
