we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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