We're facebook friends in real life
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize